The Coolest Guy Nominee 4: 'Barnzey'

A guy posted to this picture to the 'Shoutbox' on the front of a BitTorrent site I use to share legal podcasts and the like (You have to read it backwards).

Essentially he is nominated for The Coolest Guy for this reason: he got something in the post and thought to himself, "OMG LCD just arrived, better go tell all my best friends... on my local torrent site."

15th Jan, 12:10pm	Barnzey: bought 360 at launch
15th Jan, 12:01pm	Barnzey: $650
15th Jan, 11:49am	191200: how much did that set you back?
15th Jan, 11:46am	XBoNeSX: ah for ya xbox 360 ?
15th Jan, 11:45am	Barnzey: $1600
15th Jan, 11:42am	XBoNeSX: wot that set ya back ?
15th Jan, 11:30am	Barnzey: 32"
15th Jan, 11:30am	Barnzey: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v72/Barnzey /IMG_0224.jpg
15th Jan, 11:26am	XBoNeSX: wot size ?
15th Jan, 11:23am	Barnzey: new lcd has arrived!

Little did he realise that the image he uploaded would give him a bigger chance to win the award (not just because they are in the photo, but because he didn't think to take them away before uploading it):

• Truck wallpaper...?
• Empty bottles of soft drink on the floor
• Shoes thrown in the corner next to a dodgy fan
• 100% of the available nextgen consoles

The plot thickened later when this was posted-

Insert New News Here (By Beaker666 )
If you're Female and Single or Know A Single Female, Please contact Barnzey, He's Lonely and looking for a Friend.

Its only Human Nature to help others :)

How could one of the Coolest Guy nominees be struggling with the ladies. I'm shocked.

'The Coolest Guy' is a quest to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think  Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, which is fair enough. Here at UpShake.com , we believe that it is the unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool, announce it to the world, but don't get the recognition they expect. Get nominees ONE and TWO.

Coolest Guy Nominee 3: Dave and his 'zone'

'The Coolest Guy' is a quest to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think  Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, which is fair enough. Here at UpShake.com , we believe that it is the unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool, announce it to the world, but don't get the recognition they expect. Get nominees ONE and TWO.

Nominee 3: Dave and his 'zone'

David Podgor is the creator and maintainer of one of the internet's most popular websites, 'Dave's Zone'. Don't be fooled by the "Population:1" label on his very welcoming frontpage banner, I'm sure there is occasionally more than 1 person viewing it at a time. The thumbs-up pose Dave gives you upon entering his website no doubt encourages visitors to stay a little longer upon arriving. It is well complemented by two american flags which, by some feat of technical brilliance, Dave has managed to make appear as though they are being affected by some sort of intra-browser winds.

As you can tell by the web design of 'Dave's Zone', he is highly skilled in the art of HTML web design using many expensive design tools to assist his artistic visions in coming to life. So, "How do I design such a large undertaking of a website and make it look as good as Dave's Zone?", I hear you ask... Well, luckily Dave has incuded a section explaining the history of the zone. After reading the progress of his site I was interested to find that the site hasn't always gone under the 'Dave's Zone' moniker. There was a period of 5 years during which it was named 'Potomac Hobby Inc.', which I'm sure you all agree has none of the razzle dazzle of the current name. This and many more intriguing details on the site's history can be found here.

So what is it that makes this website a pure heroin-filled needle in the contaminated haystack that is the internet's countless personal websites? There are many gold nuggets I have found and I haven't even looked through the whole site. He has a delightful section on elongated coins which is the best resource on the subject I have ever found. From what I read there he has 57 of these coins, what a collection! And I thought my best friend in year 5 was impressive when he collected all the Tazos from chip packets. Dave is an accomplished photographer also. A section devoted to his shots of bridges, skylines and 'cool views' is also worth a look. This 'cool view' of a few buildings in the distance and uninteresting trees in the foreground is the best one I found.

Finally, the section on finding wild mushrooms needs no introduction. All I can say is that it changed my life.

"Think about how you feel after watching TV all day: you feel guilty because you’ve wasted the day and not accomplished anything, and the activity you did to help you relax only made you feel more stressed out. Next time the weather is nice and you have “nothing to do” try to go on a foray – anywhere with grass and mulch will do; your lawn, a parking lot – and then see how you feel when you’re done. If you are like me, you’ll never want to watch TV again."

Yes, I too am often stressed out by watching TV. Can anyone think of something better to do on a sunny day than wandering around a parking lot looking for mushrooms? I can only make one addition to improve that day- once you find the mushrooms, return to the TV and forget about your pathetic life by consuming them and enjoying the hallucinations. Perhaps TV will be less stressful when you watch Spongebob Squarepants.

The Coolest Guy: Nominee 2 (a myspace rant)

'The Coolest Guy' is a quest I have to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, and that is fair enough. However, here at LeBlogMac, we believe that it is those unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool but haven't achieved appropriate prestige.

Haven't Seen Nominee 1?

Nominee 2: This is aimed at a lot of myspace websites, but particularly this guy.

Name: BigSmooth0187

Why is he cool?
1. It says so on his myspace site
2. He's cooler than BigSmooths 0000->0186
3. List of people he'd like to meet:
Jesus, Meatloaf, Nancy Regan, Uncle Jesse from Fullhouse, Gumby...

I'd like to be at that dinner table:
Jesus: "So, Jesse, want to own up to abusing those twins on Full House?"
Gumby: "Don't eat me, Meatloaf. And no, I am not apple-flavoured."

----end Coolest Guy Segment----

----begin myspace rant----------

Have you been to myspace? For those of you who haven't, it is essentially the website equivalent of a Balinese beach-seller crossed with a dating site, then add the cream of the crop of our society to choose the media they show (and force upon you) and what they write.

When you enter a myspace site, it usually has a popup window, coupled with a song and or a video playing at the same time. The background is usually some "heaps cool" image the retard/retardo author has chosen- don't be surprised if it means you can't read a lot of the text and just be thankful it saves you the pain of reading the crap.

Luckily, it has no shortage of sluts.- check it out, her name is "It's All About Sex, Drugs & House Music". How lovely. That one is a great example of people using it to explain to everyone how much of a sexual being they are, and how much they 'party it up' with their "XOXOAWSUMxxx:) ('-')GORGeUz FRiendZ#$%^&*)_)+*&^%$". That last one is great- she totally supplies what 'EvRy' boy needs, and also what 'EvRy' dirty old man looking for a fix needs.

Myspace. Keeping the internet full of even more useless crap.

Try the 5-step Myspace Challenge!!!
1) Open 5 myspace windows at once
2) Listen to the many songs that automatically play at the same time
3) Record it and email it back to them
4) Forward it back to them again (Use Gmail or something that doesn't require multiple uploading)
5) And again...

So Anyway..... If you made it this far... Got any other questions that might be thrown back and forth across the BigSmooth0187 dinner table? Comment.

The Coolest Guy: Nominee 1

'The Coolest Guy' is a quest I have to trawl the web for the coolest people in the world. Many people would think Hollywood is a good location to start looking, or our sports stars, and that is fair enough. However, here at LeBlogMac, we believe that it is those unsung heroes who deserve recognition. People who believe they are cool but haven't achieved appropriate prestige.

Nominee 1: (rumoured to be a pseudonym Nick Parkin uses)

He wins the first nomination for several reasons.
1. The photo would have been enough to get him in, I especially like the addition of sunglasses to the outfit- I had never realised that the 'Dark Side' was so named because they wore sunnies indoors.
2. His wonderful combination of Old Country music with Techno makes him a hit with the ladies.... =cool.
3. I am not religious by any means, but as far as I know, Jesus Christ always was, as he put it "pro-light" i.e. a big supporter of the light-saber making industry. So dedicating the business to Christ makes so much sense that he must be our first nomination for The Coolest Guy.

MASTER PARKS

Master Parks AKA: Jeffrey A. Parks

Favorite Music	Nat'l Public Radio, Blues, Old Country, Techno
Goal	To be the best Lightsaber Designer in the world.

Faith	Jesus Christ is my professed Lord and Savior. Through God's love, Christ's sacrafice, and the power of the Holy Spirit, I have been redeemed.
"Because of God's love and power, I dedicate the efforts of this business toward the glorification of Christ."